you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Two words: blizzard sex
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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