sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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