i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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