You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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