I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
