I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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