I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
We're too hungover to prance.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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