please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
