Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
