Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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