so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
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