I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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