He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
