Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize