so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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