If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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