Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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