sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize