kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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