she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
