No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
