based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
