I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
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