He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize