His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize