i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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