The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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