were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
