My nipple is on Facebook.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
