i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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