matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
