im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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