Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I am available for nakedness
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
