we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize