her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
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Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize