AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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