things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
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