We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
