Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
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