If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize