..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
