So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Randomize
