i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
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