Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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