nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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