ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
