Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
