Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.