Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
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