I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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