just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
