My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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