I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
