why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize