the day after is always just damage control
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....