Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(315): View more from New York

can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...

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(515): View more from Iowa

If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.

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(707): View more from California

I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.

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(+61): View more from Australia

I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(785): View more from Kansas

They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.

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(618): View more from Illinois

I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.

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(970): View more from Colorado

The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night

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(614): View more from Ohio

Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.

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