there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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