Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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