He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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