What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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