Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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